Things we take for granted (Not what you’d expect.)

*Analogical, depp voice-mode enabled*

Wait, what?

Don’t you hate it when you’re typing “deep” and you end up spelling “depp” instead? Yeesh. So, I remember a time when I shared a bathroom with my father, and both of us were equally lazy (though I’m sure I was always a tad lazier), so we would always share the same toothpaste. We were so lazy that neither of us wanted to have to go to the effort to find a new toothpaste bottle every time we ran out. It was a hugely stubborn environment, where we would squeeze out all the toothpaste possible and hope that the other person would go replace it. I would always give up first, because somehow, that old man was a toothpaste extraction master, BUT, one day, I just didn’t. I wanted to see how he would react if he were the one that had to give up on his stubborn-ness? (apparently that’s a word. Where are the red squiggly lines?!). I made sure that there was absolutely no more toothpaste and hatched my evil scheme. The next day, I woke up, and I noticed that the toothpaste was gone, but there had been no replacement. I checked the trash, and yeah, he had thrown it away. It occurred to me that maybe he didn’t even brush his teeth, because he had been conflicted over what to do. At first, I was like, whaaaaaat? Dude, this is toothpaste we’re talking about here, just go get some, gjasflnagksnglasng. But then I realized, maybe it was his pride that prevented him from going to do something that he would have others do, even something as small as getting toothpaste. And then I got on the toilet. And then I was going to go eat breakfast, but then I realized this would be a nice, quick blog post. And then I got up to turn on my computer, but realized that my pants weren’t on. And then I ate breakfast. And I forgot entirely about the blog post.

And as I’m writing this, I’m forgetting what my original point was, so here’s a list of stuff I take for granted each day.

-The fact that I can wake up each day, without dying in the middle of the night, because I forgot to close my window, and the Texas Chain Massacre guy showing up. (Why is he called Leatherface? If he steals human faces, isn’t he human-on-human face?)

-The fact that I have an operational bathroom. Just imagine breaking your toilet(s) and having to go over to a neighbor’s house every morning.

-The fact that I have a full roll of toilet paper still up, and that the people from 6th century China decided on the idea of using paper for hygiene purposes, instead of like, bricks or something.

-The fact that  I can eat my cereal in the morning without finding pantry moths and freaking the hell out. Yes, they’re legit things.

-The fact that my closet didn’t mysteriously burn up in the night, and I wouldn’t have to wear my day-old clothes or pajamas to school. Or my birthday suit. I can never find a tie to go with my birthday suit.

-The fact that the Earth has a moon, because without it, the 8 hours of sleep you long for a day would actually just be the whole day. Actually, that doesn’t sound too bad. You could literally sleep for a day.

-The fact that we have oxygen consistently without pause, so that the sky wouldn’t have to be an endless night, or so that the Earth wouldn’t crumble into itself. Or so that our inner ears wouldn’t explode.

-The fact that the Flash has been ordered for a whole season, so I wouldn’t have to riot for a lifetime.

-The fact that Tokyo Ghoul did not end. ‘Nuff said.

-The fact that I have the computer to be writing this. Like, imagine what the world would be like if this post didn’t even exist? I’d miss you too. You nonexistent people you.

Like what I had to say? A follow, like, and/or comment would be much appreciated. 🙂

~Alan. Also, why do people use teh squiggly line before their name instead of a dash? Why do I always spell “the” as “teh”? Those letters aren’t even that close together! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-


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