The sleep deprivation kicks in…And out comes, THE CASE OF THE RAMBLES GHSDKGLDSNGKLDSNGDSKGNLDSGLDSG:
I remember one of the earliest memories is when I proclaimed loudly to the world, “I’m Spider-man!” before ripping open my jacket to reveal my suit, and then jumping off of a skyscraper, but realized my web fluid wasn’t working and I hit the ground with a sharp crunch.
-I was in the first grade.
-I was yelling at my friends, telling them that I was indeed the web-crawler, but asian. Surprisingly, none of them believed me.
-The zipper got caught a couple of times while I was trying to get off my jacket.
-Once it was off, and I honestly didn’t even realize it at the time, I was only wearing the upper torso of the costume and the mask, and I was wearing shorts instead of the pants of the costume. I was about half a spider-man. Without the boots. Or gloves. So maybe like a quarter of a spider-man.
-I climbed all the way to the top. Of the slide, where I proceeded to leap off of like a 3 foot jump.
-I really did realize my web fluid wasn’t working.
-Maybe it was the fact that it was nonexistent and I was just flicking my fingers off at people, I don’t know.
-I guess I took classes on how NOT to make a perfect landing, because I landed perfectly on my two feet and then slammed my face onto the floor.
-There was plenty of laughing and cheering.
-I wonder if the other first graders already knew what sarcasm was.
-I think some of those cool kids, you know, the second graders, were watching me as well.
You know those jokes, where it takes forever to build up upon, only to realize the punchline is just absolutely pathetic? Or those jokes where they just leave you hanging? I absolutely hate it when