I don’t even

The sleep deprivation kicks in…And out comes, THE CASE OF THE RAMBLES GHSDKGLDSNGKLDSNGDSKGNLDSGLDSG:

I remember one of the earliest memories is when I proclaimed loudly to the world, “I’m Spider-man!” before ripping open my jacket to reveal my suit, and then jumping off of a skyscraper, but realized my web fluid wasn’t working and I hit the ground with a sharp crunch.

-I was in the first grade.

-I was yelling at my friends, telling them that I was indeed the web-crawler, but asian. Surprisingly, none of them believed me.

-The zipper got caught a couple of times while I was trying to get off my jacket.

Wait, wrong zipper picture.

-Once it was off, and I honestly didn’t even realize it at the time, I was only wearing the upper torso of the costume and the mask, and I was wearing shorts instead of the pants of the costume. I was about half a spider-man. Without the boots. Or gloves. So maybe like a quarter of a spider-man.

The things you can find on google, I swear.

-I climbed all the way to the top. Of the slide, where I proceeded to leap off of like a 3 foot jump.

It felt like a 50 foot jump.

-I really did realize my web fluid wasn’t working.

-Maybe it was the fact that it was nonexistent and I was just flicking my fingers off at people, I don’t know.

-I guess I took classes on how NOT to make a perfect landing, because I landed perfectly on my two feet and then slammed my face onto the floor.

-There was plenty of laughing and cheering.

-I wonder if the other first graders already knew what sarcasm was.

-I think some of those cool kids, you know, the second graders, were watching me as well.

-Oh dear.

You know those jokes, where it takes forever to build up upon, only to realize the punchline is just absolutely pathetic? Or those jokes where they just leave you hanging? I absolutely hate it when

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3 thoughts on “I don’t even

  1. I came back and read this, and just laughed. Through the whole thing i was laughing, but the best part was when i hit the continue reading link. That part made me slightly angry, but i still laughed. Great blog post 11 out of 10 animenewsnetwork.

    Like

  2. Pingback: My Reflection | Shadows of the Day

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