Y r we so lz?

Why do people procrastinate so much? Why do people wait to the very last second to do a blog post, based on an idea that they got a second before the very last second?

LET’S GO WAYYYYY BACK.

.Hesiod once said, “Work is no disgrace: it is idleness which is a disgrace.” And this is wayyyy back in the late 700 B.C’s, which means that people have long been procrastinating. Then again, he also said, “Whoever has trusted a woman has trusted deceivers.” Then again, I’m using BrainyQuote. So, what do I know?

Did that picture have anything to do with Greece? No. No it didn’t.

I just like Back to the Future.

C:

Imagine if you will, a PHO shop. So the owner places a sign up in front of his shop that says, “FREE NOODLE FEST TOMORROW NIGHT.” Everyone walks by and goes, “Hey, I’m going to fill myself up with noodles tomorrow tonight!” They skip dinner, and head out to the PHO shop, and when they’re waiting for him to give them some good noodles, the owner just says, “Free noodles tomorrow, but in the meantime, would you like the Wonton special?” Everyone’s just moaning, “GIVE ME SOME NOODLES ALREADY…” His business is booming, of course, because they’re all starving. And also, his prices were in moderation. Like, $20 bucks for a bowl with three wontons? I don’t think so. It’s also a kick in my buns if you give me stale noodles— like, I didn’t come here to get some microwaved instant noodles, I COULD’VE DONE THAT MYSELF. I COULD’VE DONE THAT MYSELFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

I’m so done (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

But anyways, the people come back the next day, and the sign remains up, and he says the same cryptic message, “Free noodles tomorrow, but in the meantime, would you like the Wonton special?”

DO YOU UNDERSTAND NOW?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Tomorrow’s never going to come, and we have to get work done right now. As in now. Unless you’re sleeping, because sleep is just a no-work zone. But, procrastination— it’s a choice. It’s only an issue, since we make it so. How many words did that stupid story take up? 100 or so? Nice. Time is of the essence. There are people out there who aren’t going to wait until you “feel like working” to actually get any progress. NO. They’ll be out there, using their wits to get you to buy their PHO.

Dr. Ferrari

“Cherry red.”

believes that procrastinators limit themselves into three main categories. There’s those who avoid, those who seek thrill, and those who just can’t make a decision. The avoiders typically act so in a way that gets others to perceive them as lacking in effort, rather than skill for the task at hand. Those who seek thrill just enjoy waiting until the very last second to make their move, and those who just can’t make a decision typically come to the conclusion that if they don’t make one, they’re relieved of their problems.

There are many reasons behind the classifications. Maybe it comes down to just pure boredom, or lack of motivation. Motivation drives everything we do, and entertainment makes a large portion of our decision making. There’s also fear of failure, and that we’ll end up in a worse place than when we began our task. Why do something if it’s going to turn out worse than if we did nothing at all? Alongside that, there’s the fear of being overly successful, or setting the bar too high for ourselves by the time the next task comes around.

Procrastination is nothing new. Everyone does it at some point, whether it be as minor as postponing the shower for another ten minutes, or not waking up on time to serve your Lord of the Manor and getting your land taken away. Yeah, feudalism sucks. It’s also nothing new for a procrastinator to decide to continue the way they do things. However, procrastinators SHOULDN’T wait, since for the most part, life isn’t going to wait with them. It’s never too late to fix a habit or two, unless you’re being mauled by a shark, or deciding to become a professional arm wrestler when you’ve just gotten your arm stolen by a bird. Don’t wait up.

But, hey those sit ups can wait, right? RIGHT?

-Alan

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