The Awful Handshake That We’ve All Been Through…and some facts about memory.

Watching this video gave me one of those nostalgic “Hey-That-Happened-To-Me” feels, because I went through the exact same experience. Ahem.

It was an unnamed date at an unnamed time in an unnamed year, when I was walking to one of my classes. I saw my friend, and it was obvious that he saw me, for he did the casual nod in my general direction. He was wearing a jacket that was way too big for his hands. The sleeves wrapped over his fingers so I couldn’t tell what he was trying to do, but he held his hand out. I assumed it was going to be a handshake, but little did I know he had held out his fist, and I wasn’t prepared to be fisted. Our hands collided, and I don’t know if he noticed, but I haven’t asked him since. I waddled off like a penguin that had just been slapped in the face.

Oh dear.

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Everyone’s entitled to a “writer’s block” post. —But this isn’t it.

Every time. Every time I begin to write a blog post. Each and every single time, I have to first stop and ponder to myself, “Will I have something to write about today? What if today’s the day I pull my get-out-of-jail-free card? Will I use the writer’s block post today? Dang it, I’m hungry aga—”

Something along those lines.

Food…

So then, I finally got around to thinking about this “writer’s blog post”, or WBP. (It’s harder than you think to make a funny anagram.) How many times can we use this type of post? Of course people are going to get bored of it, annoyed, enraged, hulkified, murderous, arsony, and mad— but from time to time, is it alright to have a writer’s block post? The most easy thing to do, of course, is to delay writing any post until you get a really awesome idea. I’m all about awesome ideas, but I rarely find myself writing them down, because work. ew.
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Magpie’s Goals For 2015

Since New Year’s is over, it’s time to make sure I don’t write 2014 on any of my papers 😀 . Oops I think I already did that haha. Looking at 2014, I realized that I have done many new things and made new friends. This year, I hope to try new things and have better time management. Last year, I felt like I needed more sleep and although sometimes it was unavoidable, I saw some ways to get more sleep. Another thing I regretted was not being more productive during the weekends and holidays. I mean sure, those days are meant for rest but I felt like I should have done more work around the house.

Man I liked those days when I got 8 hours of sleep

Man I liked those days when I got 8 hours of sleep

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I don’t even

The sleep deprivation kicks in…And out comes, THE CASE OF THE RAMBLES GHSDKGLDSNGKLDSNGDSKGNLDSGLDSG:

I remember one of the earliest memories is when I proclaimed loudly to the world, “I’m Spider-man!” before ripping open my jacket to reveal my suit, and then jumping off of a skyscraper, but realized my web fluid wasn’t working and I hit the ground with a sharp crunch.

-I was in the first grade.

-I was yelling at my friends, telling them that I was indeed the web-crawler, but asian. Surprisingly, none of them believed me. Continue reading

Peaches.

Storytime:

So there’s this guy with a peach head who’s strolling down a street and another man walks by and asks, “Why do you have a peach head?”

“Funny story.” The Peach man says.

“I was walking along a street similar to this one, when I met a genie who was prepared to grant me three wishes. I was psyched, but I didn’t know if he was legit, so I tentatively asked him for my first wish: To get a million bucks. So sure enough, a man with a briefcase walks by and says,’You’ve won a million dollars. Congratulations.’ He left me the briefcase and it was clearly a million bucks. I was amazed that the genie was legit and I asked for my second wish. I wanted a hot chick for my wife. Sure enough, Jennifer Lawrence walked by and told me, ‘We’re going to Vegas to get married.’ After that, I had one last wish. I pondered and pondered for days, and finally, I told the genie, “I wish for a peach head.”

End of story.